Stop and think about your interactions with your child.
In the last day or so, what did you tell your
child to do or not do the most? How did
they respond?
As you know, parenting is the hardest job out there.
Through my journey I have found that being
consistent is hard to do 100% of the time.
I, along with many parents fall back to what I call accidental parenting. We react to our children in a way that
sometimes causes us to create bad habits or undesirable behaviors from our
children. Recently I’ve been reading and researching
more about why we behave the way we do.
Dr. Bruce Lipton shares “If you find yourself blowing up at your kids
and you don't know why, it may be your subconscious beliefs which most
of us don't realize run 95% of our lives (according to the latest scientific
research).” So if that’s the case and we are responding from our subconscious,
we need to make a conscious and intentional change in our parenting.
So first you need to admit and become aware of how you are
responding so you don’t continue to react to your children. Be conscious and intentional in what you say
to your children. This can be very
challenging, but is also freeing when you do make the transition.
Say what you mean.
When
you say yes, mean yes, when you say no, mean no and then, follow thru. But really try to say yes more often! Children need us to be clear in our
expectations. When we are gray and
unsure of what we expect from them we could actually be causing more crying
with younger infants and more whining with older children.
When we choose to use the word no, it should be to set a
firm and loving boundary. We want to use
no in order to keep our child safe, but not overuse it so they tune it
out.
Here’s how you can begin making the change in your
home. Let’s take a lesson from the
lifeguard at your pool. What they are
telling children that are running along the poolside? They blow the whistle and say “WALK”. If they chose to say “don’t run,” children
will typically hear- RUN. No one likes
to hear what they can’t do, so by simply reframing it, tell your child what
they CAN do!
Consistency in parenting is the most difficult.
It takes
time, practice, and patience with ourselves and our children. Take a moment to practice and share your “don’t”
or “can’t “below and reframe it to your DO or CAN for your child!