Building Trust and Security with our Children

“I feel like I’m damaging my child.” 

“I feel like my child is mad at me.”

“My child feels like I am abandoning him/her.”

 “My child is sad.  I am sad.”

“My child wants to be with me all of the time and I just need a break.”

These are statements I hear from parents who love their child more than anything, but are frustrated and are at their wits end right now when it comes to parenting.  Are they wrong for feeling this?  Most definitely not!  We are all entitled to have feelings and express our emotions.  When we suppress these feelings and emotions, it can cause us to have a negative attitude toward our child or disconnect from our child.  That is what you don’t want to do. 

The most supportive and loving parents reach out for support and look to add to their parenting toolbox to help them through this journey of parenting. 

Listening to the families I support I created The Loving Connections, Secure Attachments seminar.  At different ages and stages our children have different needs so there are two sessions: The First SixYears or Elementary and Beyond.

In each seminar, you’ll learn how to use techniques to instill positive, healthy behaviors that will continue to build the relationship of trust and security.   The Loving Connections, Secure Attachments will help parents learn and answer your questions about:

• The number one secret to good sleep and easy parenting
• Build trust and security- no programs or extra stuff
• How to become intentional and have quality interactions with your child every day
• How to start ongoing conversations with your child
• What can I do or say so my child will always talk to me and come to me when they have a problem?
• How to build in “quality time ins” without adding to your day
• Strategies and tips you can implement immediately
• How to defuse potentially difficult situations such as tantrums and power struggles throughout your day

 Click here to register for the upcoming FREE webinars! 

Parents will learn about expected behaviors by age and a wide range of ways to solve common issues. Fewer battles, better listening, restful sleep, more peace!   Discover the secret ingredient for a lifelong connection with your child to enjoy the parenting journey!

Learn how to build these Loving Connections, Secure Attachments from the comfort of your home.  Can’t make it to the scheduled time of the seminar?  No problem- once you are registered for the designated seminar you will receive a recording and access to all the materials shared in the session.  

#1 Sleep Secret- Get to bed early.

During the first 6 years of life, children are wired to wake early and go to bed early.  It’s important for children to get the quality and quantity of sleep they need.  Not only does it help them have a better day and night, it helps build their memory, immune system, and developmental needs for these formative years of their life.

Of course this is easier said than done; however a few little changes in your daily routine could be enough to create a healthy habit of getting all the sleep you need. 

Create quality sleep by examining your sleep environment.    Keep the room dark with darkening shades or even just a dark sheet in the window and use a sound machine.  These positive sleep associations help promote the body’s natural melatonin process to help create tired and sleepy children.  Restorative sleep is achieved when our child is sleeping in their crib, bed, or pack n play.  Keep sleep in swings and car seats to a minimum, otherwise you might create a sleep crutch of your child needing motion to sleep.

Up until age 9, children need to get a solid 10-11 hour period of sleep to get the quantity of sleep they need.   The exception to this is of course is during the first months of life when calories by nursing or bottle feeding are necessary for your child’s growth and development.  But usually around 6-9 months of age, your pediatrician may share that your child is growing and developing well and should be able to sleep through the night. 

When you create consistent bedtimes and wake times you help regulate your child and their natural body clock - the circadian rhythm.  By observing your child and following their sleepy cues (yawning, eye rubbing, ear tugging, zoning out) you can help them get to bed during their natural sleep window when there is a deep pressure for sleep.   What happens when we miss this sleep window is that children will get their “second wind” and are on an adrenaline rush from cortisol.  This is usually when the bedtime battles occur, sleep deficits take place, and children may misbehave, meltdown during the day, and may not be as adaptable as they could be.   Some children that do not get the quality and quantity of sleep may show symptoms similar to those of children with ADD/ADHD. 

Getting to bed early may sound counter intuitive and may not make logical sense.  Most of us think, if I keep my child up, they will sleep in later.   Most children during these first 6 years of life will still wake up at the same time between 6-7am regardless of what time they went to bed.  What most parents will find that for children that are sleep deprived and don’t get the hours of sleep they need, their child may actually wake more frequently during the night and wake up ready to start their day before 6am. 

If bedtime is a battle in your home, it’s possible that your child may be telling you that they can’t handle anymore.  Aim to have children in bed and asleep between 6:30 and 7:30pm to get the quality and quantity sleep they need so they can restore and be ready to explore, learn, and grow the next day.  Remember, sleep begets sleep.  

Parenting Questions Answered!

Have you ever wondered:

How to discipline your children without ruining their
self-esteem?
How to deal with your picky eaters?
How to protect your child from being bullied at school or online?
How to overcome your own parenting issues so as not to raise
children with hang-ups?
How to raise your children financially aware?

Get your questions answered about these and so much more
on the Great Parenting Show starting this Tuesday,
March 13th.

There will be 24+ experts sharing their best strategies,
tactics and process and best of all the information is
FREE.Sign up here to register

You can even get YOUR questions answered on the call!

More information here CLICK here.

Bedtime Routines

Bedtime routines work

And could be the answer to end your bedtime battles. No matter what age your child is- a bedtime routine provides a positive way to end your child’s day.  The hope is that you and your child will look forward to this special time together each and every night to connect and reflect on the day you had- plan for the next wonderful day you are given.

What can you include in the bedtime routine? 
 This is what our routine looks like at our house for my 6 and 4 year olds:

• Tubby time- or wash cloth bath on nights when we eliminate the bath
•  Brush teeth
• Get PJ’s on
• 2 books- one for each child
• Prayers
•  Last call for water and potty break
•  Lights Out
•  Special story for those who nap
•  Snuggle time with each boy individually- they usually get to ask 3 questions to end their day
• Covers and Night Night time

What I have found is that when you fill your child’s need to be held, cuddled, and listened too- sleep happens very easily.  Our routine typically starts around 6:30 and can take from 30-45 minutes, so be sure to plan that accordingly with your child’s actual sleep time.  This is one of the secrets to a good night of sleep.  Parents who try to rush bedtime will find it will backfire on them and will end up being a longer process than they intended

Some last notes on creating the bedtime routine:

• Give your child some choices: would you like to wear your Dora or Barbie jammies?   Do you want to put your pants on or mommy? Would you like to brush your teeth standing or sitting? Do you want to pick our story or daddy?  Would you like me to wash your left or right arm first?  Having fun and providing these simple choices will give your child the control they want, give you a child ready for bed with limits and boundaries everyone can live with-that’s a win-win bedtime routine. 
• Keep it positive to help promote good thoughts- sweet dreams. 
• If your child has a fear of the dark or monsters- use a night light, include a nightly room check for monsters, some people like to use a monster spray, and/or throw the bad dreams away.   Most of these strategies will work with your preschool aged child.  
• Create a special thing that you do with your child.  It’s okay and actually great when mom and dad have their own little thing they do.   
• As your child gets older, your snuggle time might be the time your child opens up to you to share some of his or her school wins and losses from the day.  She/he may clue you in on some life challenges they are experiencing.  You want to begin to open this form of communication now so when they are in the tween and teen years you already have this time and trust built with your child and they will want to share with you.  

Bedtime once upon a time ago -3 years ago to be exact- was a nightmare in our home.  It was the last thing I looked forward to- but now- I love it and can’t wait to have that special time with Connor and Bailey. 

Before I Was A

Before I was a Mom-
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.  I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.


Before I was a Mom-
I cleaned my house each day.  I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.  I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.  I never thought about immunizations. 


Before I was a Mom-
I had never been puked on- pooped on- spit on- chewed on- or peed on.  I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.  I slept all night.


Before I was a Mom-
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests or give shots.  I never looked into teary eyes and cried.  I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.  I never sat up late hours at night watching a a baby sleep.  


Before I was a Mom-
I never held a baby just because I didn't want to put it down.  I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.  I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.  I never knew I could love someone so much.  I never knew I would love being a  Mom.  


Before I was a Mom-
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside of my body.   I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.  I didn't know the bond between a mother and her child.  I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.  


Before I was a Mom-
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.  I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment, or the satisfaction of being a Mom.  I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a mom.  


I came across these truths of motherhood.  I'm not sure who the original author is- but I guess I never really realized how much my children warm my heart and life, make me feel emotions I never felt, and how very different my life was before children.  I feel so blessed to have Connor and Bailey in this season of my life and I look to enjoy the journey through all the good, and learn from the bad, and build those memories together.  


I hope that you will *share* this with someone whom you think is a special Mom...

Photo Credit: http://www.jefferyminnish.com/

Sleep Solutions for your child

Are you struggling with sleep for your child?  Does your child wake frequently during the night?   Does your child wake earlier than 6am?   Does your child need you to help them go to sleep?  Are you feeling sleep deprived?  

The Sleep Smarts, Sleep Success workshop could be the gentle sleep solution for you!

In each workshop, you’ll learn how to use techniques to instill positive, healthy behaviors that will continue to build the relationship of trust and security.   The Sleep Smarts, Sleep Success will help parents learn:

• Common sleep mistakes we make as parents, and how to get "sleep smart."
• Learn strategies that are based on a loving, positive,  and gentle approaches to parenting our young ones
• The importance of getting the right amount of the right kind of sleep at the right time
• Methods – The How To’s- for your child’s age
• Specific language to effectively solve discipline issues during the day and night
• How to defuse potentially difficult situations such as tantrums and power struggles throughout your day
• How to get your child to go to sleep, stay asleep, and make it a great day everyday!
• Access to handouts and resources in the Loving Lessons Parent Resource Community

Sleep Smarts, Sleep Success:

• The Right Start- is designed for expectant parents and newborns-6 months of age
• For Infants and Toddlers- is designed for children 6 months-2 years of age in a crib
• For Preschoolers is designed for 2.5- 6 years of age in a bed

Get a discount for this workshop by using the SLEEPNOW discount code!

Parents will learn about expected behaviors by age and a wide range of ways to solve common issues. Fewer battles, better listening, restful sleep, more peace!

Learn how to get sleep in place from the comfort of your home.  Can’t make it to the scheduled time of the workshop?  No problem- once you are registered for the designated workshop you will receive a recording and access to all the materials shared in the session.  These sessions do not include a personalized sleep plan- but will provide you with the tools to create your own sleep plan. 

Another way to think about sleep training...

I like to use the term sleep coaching or even sleep teaching because when it comes down to it- that’s what parents are doing when they are trying to teach their child this very important skill of “how to sleep.”  There are many GENTLE sleep solutions families can do to achieve this outcome.    Most people get very nervous, upset, or even angry when they hear about a child being sleep trained.  WATCH my video to learn what sleep coaching is really about and my hope for you as a parent. 

SHARE this blog post or just the video with a parent who might want to keep or need some help creating that loving connection again at bedtime!